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By Dan Epstein
Christmas
comes but once a year, and typically brings with it more new holiday albums
than you can shake a peppermint stick at.
And yet, while the ShockHound editorial department isn’t really down
with the idea of malls cranking out yuletide tuneage as soon as the Halloween
decorations come down — and while we never, ever need to hear “Grandma Got Run
Over By a Reindeer” again, in this life or the next — we’ve gotta admit that
Christmas music is far and away our favorite part of the whole holiday.
Sure, a lot of Christmas music smacks of commercial cash-in (hey, ‘tis
the season, right?), and even more of it is overly schmaltzy, goofy and/or
dull. But these 12 classic albums — one
for each “day” of Christmas — all tap directly into the joy and giddiness of
“the most wonderful time of the year,” and in some cases even dig into the deeper
meaning of the holiday in beautiful and unexpected ways. Bottom line: If you’re
looking for something to make your spirits bright, you can’t go wrong with
anything in this holly-decked dozen.
Just like Santa Claus, James Brown was an expansive,
generous, larger than life, and slightly deranged individual. So it makes
perfect sense that the Godfather of Soul left us with what is, hands down, the
greatest Christmas album ever made. Compiled from single sides and album tracks
cut between 1966 and 1970, Funky Christmas features some swell versions of
holiday standards, but it's the original material that puts this collection way
over the top. JB's socially conscious side comes to the fore on "Santa Claus
Go Straight To The Ghetto," "Hey America (It's Christmas Time)"
and "Let's Unite the Whole World At Christmas," while "Santa
Claus Is Definitely Here To Stay" and the profoundly inspirational
"Let's Make Christmas Mean Something This Year" soulfully remind you
that Christmas is really about taking the time to consciously savor the twin
miracles of love and existence, and letting the important people in your life
know how much they matter to you. And as the Godfather himself useta say, ain't
that a groove?
Welcome to the second greatest Christmas album of all time. Recorded in 1963 (and unfortunately released on the same day JFK was assassinated), the album marks the perfect sleigh bell-assisted union of Spector’s “wall of sound” production style and a dozen holiday standards — along with Darlene Love’s powerhouse Greenwich-Barry-Spector number, “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home).” Love’s “Winter Wonderland,” the Crystals’ “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town” and Bob B. Soxx & the Blue Jeans’ “The Bells of St. Mary’s” all glisten like tinsel in the December sunlight, and Ronnie Spector’s caramel-coated vocals on the Ronettes’ “Frosty the Snowman,” “Sleigh Ride” and “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” could melt even the most frost-bitten heart.
Family dysfunction is as much a part of Christmas as sugarplums and candy canes, and few musical families were more dysfunctional than Brian Wilson’s. But as Ultimate Christmas proves, the Beach Boys still managed to wax some pretty wonderful holiday music. This collection takes the entirety of the band’s 1964 Christmas album (which featured the Wilson-penned singles “Little Saint Nick” and “The Man With All the Toys) and combines it with alternate versions, rare singles and radio public service announcements, as well as tracks that were cut for a late-‘70s Christmas LP but never released, resulting in a gift that’ll keep on giving for any Beach Boys fan.
The world’s greatest guitar instrumental band recorded several dozen albums over the course of their 50-year career, so it figures that they’d have a Christmas LP somewhere in their discography. Recorded in 1965, the tracks on this album take the amusing tack of starting out with a riff from a contemporary pop hit of the day, before plunging headlong into a classic Christmas tune — the Beatles’ “I Feel Fine” morphs into “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” the band’s own “Walk Don’t Run” becomes “Sleigh Ride,” etc. While this approach might grow tiresome in the wrong hands, the Ventures’ rollicking drums and twangy fuzz guitars keep the party going. If this record doesn’t get your co-workers go-go dancing on their desks at the office Christmas shindig, nothing will.
Frank Sinatra and Sammy Davis, Jr. both spent plenty of time in Santa’s recording studio, but leave it to Dean Martin to come up with the quintessential Rat Pack Christmas album. Sounding like he’s ingested more than his share of spiked egg nog, Dino suavely sashays his way through holiday classics like “Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!,” “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” and “White Christmas,” as well as such seasonally-appropriate numbers as “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” and “I’ve Got My Love to Keep Me Warm.” His My Kind of Christmas album is also highly recommended, though we’ll give A Winter Romance the nod for its cover’s implicit suggestion of potential threesome action. My kind of Christmas, indeed!
One of the
most influential folk and blues guitarists of the last half-century, John Fahey
scored far and away the biggest commercial success of his career with a
Christmas album. That paradox might seem tragic, but only until you actually
listen to The New Possibility, a meditative — and staggeringly beautiful
— collection of traditional carols (“Joy to the World,” “Good King Wenceslas,”
“It Came Upon a Midnight Clear”) arranged for steel-string acoustic guitar. Over 40 years after its original release, the album remains a life-affirming,
nerve-soothing antidote to the rampant hysteria and commercial crassness of the
holiday season.
Even Kris
Kringle knows you can’t have a merry jingle without Der Bingle. There are
almost as many Christmas albums out there by the laconic crooner as there are
snowflakes in the Great White North, but we’ll give this one the nod for its
inclusion of three Andrews Sisters-assisted tracks, including the Hawaiian
island reverie “Mele Kalikimaka (Merry Christmas).” And if this record seems
like the epitome of squaresville to you, consider that Mr. Crosby — who was
turned on to “jazz cigarettes” by no less than Louis Armstrong — may very well
have been totally baked during these recording sessions.
Having already backed Otis Redding, Wilson Pickett and Sam & Dave in the studio, cutting an instrumental Christmas album must have seemed like a piece of pecan pie for Stax Records’ house band. A sparse but sweetly soulful affair, this 1966 album — highlighted by a supremely groovy “Winter Wonderland” and an almost comically minimalist “Jingle Bells” — sounds like it was cut on the last afternoon before Christmas break, with plenty of liquid “good cheer” to go around.
By far the best of the King’s two Christmas recordings, this 1957 LP — still the best-selling holiday album of all time — caused a fair amount of controversy when it was released, due to Irving Berlin's vociferous objections to Elvis’ be-bopping version of “White Christmas.” In retrospect, it’s hard to hear what the fuss was all about, especially considering that the album opens with Leiber & Stoller’s risqué “Santa Claus is Back in Town” (“Hang up your pretty stockings/And turn off the light/Santa Claus is comin’/Down your chimney tonight”). But while Berlin clearly felt Elvis was being disrespectful to his yuletide standard, Elvis’ readings of “I’ll Be Home for Christmas,” “O Little Town of Bethlehem” and the gospel standard “(There’ll Be) Peace in the Valley (For Me)” are deeply reverent and heartfelt.
In 1970, at the height of Jackson 5 mania, Michael and his brothers cut the classic Jackson 5 Christmas Album, which included charming pop-soul renditions of “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town,” “Up On the Housetop” and “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus,” along with such Motown-penned additions to the yuletide canon as “Christmas Won’t Be the Same This Year,” “Give Love On Christmas Day” and “Someday at Christmas.” Michael’s infectious and jubilant performances are worth the price of admission alone, but this newly reissued version also adds his rare solo track “Little Christmas Tree,” a handful of remixes from the original album, and several vintage “Season’s Greetings” messages from Joe’s boys.
One of jazz guitarist Burrell’s few recordings for Chicago’s soul-oriented Cadet imprint, 1966’s Have Yourself a Soulful Little Christmas totally delivers the titular goods. The 12 tracks on offer here run from the sacred (“Children Go Where I Send Thee") to the profane (a slow-burning “Merry Christmas, Baby”), including what’s generally considered to be the definitive jazz version of “The Little Drummer Boy,” all burnished with Burrell’s impeccably smooth and soulful playing. The perfect soundtrack for cuddling up with your main squeeze, when you’ve got nothing on but the Christmas lights.
Whether you’re looking to get your holiday swerve on, or just want to clear your house of uptight relatives, Rudy Ray Moore’s deliriously raunchy This Ain’t No White Christmas! is just what the doctor ordered. The late Mr. Moore — aka “Dolemite,” the godfather of rap, blaxploitation film auteur, and perpetrator of about 30 of the most gleefully foul-mouthed "party" records you'd ever want to hear — really puts the “blue” in Blue Christmas with nasty-ass readings of “Merry Christmas” and “Night Before Christmas," while throwing in his philosophical ruminations on the “Health Department” and “Eatin’ Pussy” for good measure. Who could ask for anything more?
Go HERE for over 60 classic Christmas albums on sale now, including holiday gems from Frank Sinatra, Johnny Cash, Weezer, Stevie Wonder, Chet Baker, Reverend Horton Heat. My Morning Jacket, Brian Setzer Orchestra, and more!
